Let me try this a different way. I’m a hard worker. I may not have found my one cause and plowed through my existence in search of pushing that cause, but I have a steady work history. I chose to go back to school in 2013 full time to get a degree in Computer Networking Systems. I went to school full time and worked full time. Graduated with honors. Got a new job post graduation and loved the job. But I struggled to retain some information. Now I have a much better understanding of why I was having this problem. I found another job, a better job. I landed a position with Verizon Wireless. I know that may not be everybody’s ‘perfect’, but I was so in love with the commradery, the support, the fun. The environment and encouragement was comfortable. I liked every single person I ever ran into. I couldn’t retain everyone’s name, but I was always genuinely happy to see everyone there. I like to think that Verizon Wireless saw me as an employee who wanted to be there. I was struggling, though. I was having petite mal seizures, undiagnosed. I called them dizzy spells. Sometimes I would still be out of it but would be compelled to get back on the phone as it was my job. Thought process was very slow on the backside of a seizure. Looking back, considering how I was suffering, I think I was probably doing pretty good. I certainly had a good attitude. 💃 My employers worked hard with me because they saw that I had a strong desire to be a successful employee. I will never forget their kindness. Never. I was in the last few months of employment there. I had reached out to their employee mental health. I was checking in with my doctor every six weeks. But I was running out of time. Verizon has to have employees who answer questions correctly. I was unable to be the employee I’d promised to be. I started crying one day and left. I cried for months. It took me over a year to unload my work box. 😢😢😢 I had worked so hard to make my life situation better. Be a contributor and I was simply unable. I went to another doctor. I went. I told her I needed to talk to someone. She was frustrated when I couldn’t tell her who I wanted to talk to. I was thinking she would have some insight, being a medical professional. My basic ask was to talk. So I waited several months, got in to see the sweetest psychytrist! Super excited. Thinking yay, things can get better now. Ever the optimist. Our first appointment was laden with questions. I felt compelled to be honest about the hallucinations, even though I was scared to be honest. We finished the questions, she wrote me a few prescriptions and the appointment was over. Note: I’ve been in the chair before. I know how this used to work. This part of the story is going to be alarming. I don’t know how far I’ll make it on this post, but I promise I’ll get to the meat of this story, hopefully soon.
Ok, our first appointment ended. I thought I’d leave with a few tips. Things to try. Little tasks that would give me little victories. I was given a follow up appointment, that was all. Still a very kind psychytrist. I hung on like crazy for the next appointment. I’d attempted to have some personal little victories. Ways that I could show her that I was striving to get right. Confidently but a little timid went in for my follow up. She asked a few questions and was escorting me out in less than 15 minutes!?!??? I sat back down. I said ‘I’m here for the therapy, the process’. I’d had this discussion with my doctor. Every body knew I was there for the therapy!?!???? She said, the psychytrist said, she wished she could still do that but she can’t. She has a waiting room full of people coming in for medicine without getting direction for their lives. This isn’t a one off! This is the new way! All of these people going bat shit crazy out there with guns! They may think they are getting helped, but they are getting pills only. This should be terrifying! This is national! Somebody needs to know. Wake up! Oh my goodness, my head hurts. Taking a break….
Train Bumor 